The Prom-Pros of Promposals

 

The first documented promposals in the U.S. were part of a 2001 issue of The Dallas Morning News. They didn’t look too different from the promposals we’re used to seeing now, featuring puns, Hershey’s Kisses, and guitar serenades. Over twenty years later, promposals are still imbued with this distinct creativity. Students spend time making something special for their friends or sweethearts—an act that is not only exciting for the recipients but also for the students who, let’s face it, rarely get the opportunity to put something on a poster board they actually want to present. Promposals are a great way to participate in a tradition while letting loose and having fun toward the end of a stressful year. 

Most promposals adhere to a boy-likes-girl narrative, which could be a result of age-old gender roles in heterosexual relationships. But they also represent an important divergence from patriarchal constructs. Specifically, it’s worth noting that private promposals between just two people are rare. The fact that most promposals today happen in front of an audience of some sort adds a facet of emotional vulnerability. Since early childhood, men and boys are socialized to suppress their feelings and be nonchalant, so to speak. This happens at the expense of their mental health and the quality of their relationships with women. Because of their socialization, it’s refreshing to see teenage boys, already in the trenches of pubescent self-doubt, being so vulnerable and open with their feelings in the presence of their peers. While the same old promposal story might feel almost patriarchal, the format of promposals make them an especially important lesson for straight men. Normalize girls promposing to boys and normalize queer promposals, please. But also, normalize boys who aren’t afraid to make their emotions known. 

Beyond the dyadic exchange of promposals, their public quality also involves the larger community, allowing unique bonds within the student body. Organizing the perfect promposal can often take the effort of several people. One might film the scene, and one might bring their unsuspecting friend to the promposal spot. Even the posters are sometimes the combined handiwork of a determined promposer and their supportive friends. Furthermore, students watching their peers’ promposals on campus clap and cheer, even if they just happen to be walking by. The shared joy and sense of community that promposals bring is so infrequent and needed at a time where young people are more isolated than ever.

A survey conducted by Cigna in 2019 placed Gen Z as the loneliest generation, with 79% reporting feelings of loneliness. This characterization is consistent with other research, and while it could be for a number of reasons, small instances of connection are valuable in bringing us closer together. At a time when young people struggle to find community and make friends, seeing the people around them having fun can make the joy contagious. It helps to feel like you’re part of something bigger, even if you’re just a spectator to your friends’ goofy promposals. 

Whether you’re going to prom solo, with friends, with a partner, or not at all, there’s no way to avoid seeing promposals this year. And while the loud crowds and extravagant displays may get tiring, promposals are ultimately about bonding with the people you’re closest to. Besides the bonds that form between those directly involved, promposals are also a vital part of the community as a whole. Every flashy promposal that catches your attention is part of your Hopkins experience. Remember the bad puns, the obnoxious crowds, and appreciate them: these are the memories that remind us how much joy and love exists all around.